Tales From a Zen Kitchen by Florencia Clifford

Author:Florencia Clifford
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781784505028
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Published: 2016-11-06T04:00:00+00:00

The retreat continued: the flow of the kitchen was different, and just as I had anticipated, having a gas cooker meant that I didn’t have to rely on the temperamental Rayburn to bake in, but the “new” Rayburn was behaving worse than the previous incumbent. I mourned the loss of the relationship I had developed with the old Rayburn. The biggest loss was the hard wood counter under the window. It was a sacred space, like an altar for preparation, where the light of the afternoon filtered perfectly as I prepared supper, enhancing colours, enlivening sometimes dull looking concoctions. It was here that alchemy occurred in unexplained circumstances. But I had to drop this attachment and find a way to work with the new arrangement. In the old setting there was a real sense of abandonment of self. In order for me to become one with the kitchen, the intuitive cook inside me had to come forward. Now cooking was more straightforward, but still full of challenges.

I found that I had more time to join in the Chan Hall, and above all I was not as tired. Perhaps the new kitchen was helping me to find more space, but I kept resisting it. This space felt unnecessary. Or was it that the modernisation of the kitchen had made the practice of cooking less challenging?

I reflected on this to John, at interview. He thought I was exaggerating, but I felt sure that I needed to push myself in a different way. I wanted a challenge from him. He annoyed me by suggesting that I change the menu. I came out of the interview fuming. I bashed the pots whilst I cooked lunch; my mind was raging. “Do something else, train in something else, you could do so much better than this. How dare he? I do not plan menus!” And yet, after I served lunch and saw everyone tucking in, I was able to see that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.

So far I was managing a walk a day. Every day, I made a mandala offering with things that I found on my walks. One day I made a beautiful circular offering with leaves, acorns, and some death cap mushrooms. Someone had picked the mushrooms on a walk and then left them for me on the kitchen counter as an offering, thinking that they were edible. I didn’t like the look of them and remembered Pam’s advice never to trust mushrooms people pick for the kitchen. She had said, “Put them on display but never touch them.” I kept looking at them and feeling my stomach crunch. I asked for a second opinion later: they were indeed death caps. Fortunately, I followed the teachings and my instincts, and did not put them in the stew!

I told John that I had seen a fairy. He knew exactly what I meant without having to explain. He got excited, and asked, “Where? Where?” Fairies are insects that I come across in moments when I am still and open.

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